Author: mister

I went to eat lunch in the park. There was a sign.

False advertising. There were no dogs to be seen and I’m not sure where the leash was supposed to be. Why would you put all the dogs on one leash anyway, wouldn’t they fight?

The food was ok.

Surprisingly busy for pandemic season. I don’t know why anybody eats paella. The menu wasn’t tapas.

The food was ok.

Nothing in the cupboard but a tin of pumpkin soup and a tub of protein powder? Why not mix the two together?

I’m going to pitch David Lynch a movie idea about this soup. In it, a fly lands on the soup but gets stuck and is forced to lay maggots in the soup but the maggots refuse to eat the soup.

Here’s a video of sheep walking down the road.

That wasn’t actually in Murchison but if anybody asks. Our little secret.

Zen’s Kitchen serves vegan food. I had soup.

The food was OK.

Looks like the sandwich shop next door is using Abril Fatface for their logotype.

A pizza is basically an open faced sandwich. Hokitika has a population of about 4000. When people say it, it sounds a bit like the reason my uncle had a quadruple bypass. Why the horse?

I can’t eat a whole pizza.

The food was OK.

I arrived several days before the self isolation request. But I’m not a risk taker. In between driving from Dunedin to Te Anau I picked up a thermometer, hand sanitiser and my own pillow.

I was going to crack open one of these tins of beans for a meal.

But I’m on a wild goddamn adventure. I don’t live like that. Not yet. So I tried to go to The Fat Duck in Te Anau. But it was full of germs. I mean people. So I went to the local food truck and got a Bao. Surely no germs there.

I ate the Bao in my hotel. I washed my hands. But I didn’t use my hands to eat.

The Bao came with fries. I washed it down with a can of beer.

The food was ok.

I am Dunedin this burger.

The food was ok.

Busy cafe in Christchurch. I sat outside near the parking lot.

NZ wants anyone who’s been overseas to self isolate. When our cat got sick before it died it disappeared for a few days.

The food was ok.

Yogo

Very briefly there was a “creamy rice” flavour. Imagine drinking it through a straw. That’s Yomie’s.

The yoghurt drink was OK.