Author: mister

Jimmys Burger & Co. does not have an apostrophe on the Jimmys or a plural on burger. I was worried this meant Jimmys was not a person and that there was only one burger, with company. But my fears were allayed.

As a famous food blogger I’ve tried my fair share of burgers over the years so I think I could write a thorough and detailed review if I could be bothered. I couldn’t.

I had the classic. Plus bacon. Positives were the potato bun and the patty. Negatives were the stacking order and temperature and texture of the non-meat company.

The beer was served in an old school headmaster glass.

I also had onion rings. There’s no point taking a photo of onion rings.

The food was OK.

Online it’s called Beach Hut Cafe. I suppose that’s why the blackboard had “The Beach Hut” in scare quotes.

I imagine a disgruntled worker doing that because “fuck you, indifferent universe.”

I had a hamburger with “the lot.” No extras necessary.

The food was OK.

Fuck my therapist. I’ll say when I’m done blogging.

Maso’s is a Masonic Club in St George. I could not see any stonemasonry. Nor could I see any freemasonry. I suppose the dripping wet mouth of Eris had long since eroded both. Maybe I should have tried the nearby Concordia Club.

It was mostly empty except for me, my dinner companion, and my corpse soul thumbing dollars into a nearby poker machine.

No photos. The food was OK.

In NYC and steam rises from the street like so much existential dread.

That is the best and worst sentence I will ever write on TFWOK and a good time to announce this will be the last post, on the orders of my weekday therapist.

At Bill’s Bar & Burger the burger comes with two patties whether you expect it or not. Kind of like falling for someone except not at all and nobody likes metaphors anyway.

It tasted like angst and regret. I washed it down with a beer.

The food was OK.

I didn’t know Burwood Rd went through Belfield. Turns out it doesn’t. There’s two Burwood Rds right near each other. They both connect to Punchbowl Rd. I wonder if anybody has an anecdote about that.

On Burwood Rd there’s a shop serving USA style BBQ. I went there.

I ordered the Brisket box. I dined in and my Brisket was actually on a plate on a tray. But the coleslaw was in a box. Maybe to avoid false advertising.

The food was OK.

I eat donuts because why not? I don’t like them stale but for some reason stale donuts are common which I don’t understand because how hard is it to make them fresh? And besides they’re sugary bread coated in sugar so they shouldn’t go stale very easily. The next worst thing after a stale donut is a gluten-free donut made with almond meal because it’s really just a friand pretending to be a donut and anyway friands are stale cakes to begin with. So basically it’s more money for a stale donut without the wait. Sometimes I feel sorry for the half-a-percent or whatever of people who are coeliac and can’t eat glutenous donuts and have to eat gluten-free (aka stale) donuts.

I’ve never had a stale donut from Grumpy Donuts except for that one time I bought a box of six donuts and ate one-a-day for six days because donuts begin to get stale around day three and are disappointing by day six. That means shops selling stale donuts are sitting on them for almost a week and after a week a donut basically becomes a friand which isn’t much different from eating the brown paper bag it comes in or just eating a rope and yanking it through.

I had the cookie butter donut from Grumpy Donuts. It had cookie butter inside it. A cookie is like a small stale donut made edible by adding lots of butter and sugar and sometimes stuff like chocolate chips. Cookie butter is taking a cookie and mixing it with butter which makes it mostly butter so my donut was iced with butter and stale donuts.

I didn’t eat the brown paper bag that the donut came in because why?

The food was OK.

A cheesesteak is cheese and steak on a roll plus accoutrements.

Frank’s Original Philly Cheesesteak & Dogs is a truck on the side of the road run by two guys plus accoutrements.

Mine had onion as accoutrements. It was $5.

The food was OK. The accoutrements OK.

I looked forward to eating a burger at 8bit. I grew up in the 8-bit era with a Nintendo. My parents bought it for me when I was 5. I spent a lot of my childhood playing 8-bit games. I still play 8-bit games. But not on my old Nintendo. I use emulators. I don’t know where my old Nintendo is. I haven’t seen it in 30 years.

8bit was not 8-bit. It might be because they forgot the hyphen. Sometimes, omitting the hyphen grants artistic freedom. Fulltime students need to study. But full-time students aren’t hungry and know about horology.

8bit’s menu had letters that looked like they were composed of square pixels and smooth curves. I’ve never seen 8-bit graphics with smooth curves. Maybe with a gnarly upscaler. Maybe 8bit are trying to upscale my childhood. Or something.

8bit’s menu items were named after video games. But only half of the video games were 8-bit video games. The other half were 16-bit video games.

8bit played 90s rap songs. 90s rap songs do not sound 8-bit. Chiptunes sounds 8-bit. I wish they played chiptune covers of 90s rap songs. One of the songs they played was “I got 5 on it”. I recognized it because one of the rappers is from Vallejo. His name is E-40. Both the number 5 and the number 40 can be expressed with 8 bits. If I go to 8bit again I might use my powers of persuasion to see if they can play this instead of the original.

8bit had two arcade machines with many games. The number of games offered was more than 256. Did I mention that many of the games were 16-bit games? 16-bits games are not 8-bit. 8-bit arcade machines exist. But they do not exist in 8bit.

8bit was cold. The level of coldness might be expressed in 8-bits, depending on the temperature scale. I wonder what temperature scale 8bit’s thermostat uses? Maybe it has 256 discrete values? I’m no thermostat expert but I doubt it.

The food was OK.

Concord has more roundabouts than parking spots.

The food was OK.